Date: Thursday, April 24, 2008
Time: 2:29 AM

At the end of the day ... blogs aren't very good for getting things off your mind. While there are a lot of things I would love to write down, I won't -.- and can't. Some aspects of my life are to private for me to present to the world ... the vast majority of what I think about actually is things I don't feel comfortable letting everyone hear.

I think to much ... and it makes me depressed. I think about my relationships with people, where my life is going, and the world. And the more I think the more I doubt. It becomes a never ending circle of ... well self doubt. But at the same time -.- I'm not worried about my ability to do things... It's complex.

I'm not worried if I can do it... I'm worried I won't do it ... sorta. If you guys haven't caught on by now -.- I'm feeling a bit down. It could be the weather.. I always feel down when its raining and dark. It could also be stress ... because it seems as though lately stuff just keeps going the opposite way of how I picture them going.

Then again.. things NEVER EVER go the way I picture them going -.- As a rule.. as soon as I start to day dream about something ... it doesn't happen. You may thing that's an over exaggeration but its not -.- Things go my when when I DON'T daydream about them.

This for some reason is especially true for me when it comes to guys I like. -.- As soon as I start to think "Hey I like this guy... *pictures self dating said person* WAM o_o They get a girlfriend/ move away/ turn out to like guys/ already have a girlfriend. =.= It's like a curse... and then at the same time the guys I don't like? Yup... those would be the ones asking me out and confessing their love @.@ Er.. of course it might be because I have an overly friendly personality. -.- For the most part...

Hmm maybe I was wrong about blogging. o_o I haven't said what exactly is bothering me but I still feel a lot better. =0) Blogging.... its not useless after all!