Date:
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Time: 3:46 AM
Chulia ... the Relationshuip Guru
O_O upon visiting Kaiwens blog earlier today... I made a shocking discovery. His stat reader said... 1540!!! :c Now .. normally I wouldn't be bothered by someone else's stat counter being higher then mine ... but Kaiwen's blog is about the same age as mine and has 900 more page visits!!! -.- Unless Kaiwen visits his own blog.. a lot... the only explanation is people prefer his blog to mine! ... well he also has a lot longer link list ... but o_o thats besides the point. The point is that my ramblings about my life aren't apparently reader magnets.
I need something new.. something ... something o_o ROMANTIC!!! And that is how Chulia ... the Relationship Guru was born. I joked about writing about romantic problems last month ... (prepare for flash back)
"o___o I'm basically doomed because what do I know about life's complexities? Shi Xiong is already doing the Buddhist blog thing... Kaiwen the joke thing... what does that leave me!? Not much.. but maybe I'll become some sort of idk...relationship guru!! ...................................*long and awkward silence*........................................................................................................................ok....so maybe not."Mhm thats right.. I almost became the Relationship Guru back then.. but -.- something stopped me... the fact that I personally don't have that much experience.... BUT then I realized o_o so long as I don't answer REAL peoples problems! It's all good =D So here is the first issue of "Chulia ... the Relationship Guru" o_o are you prepared for this much advice??
Disclaimer.. umm.. I have no idea what I'm going to write... but in case it's something crazy PLEASE DON'T FOLLOW MY ADVICE!! Unless is good advice =D .... but it'll probobly just be a really weird story =.=
FROM THE FILES OF CHULIA....THE RELATIONSHIP GURU
(said in deep manly detective voice)
Life is complicated... I know. I've seen it all in my line of work. Husbands who cheat on their wives... wives who run away with their husbands brothers. Even grandmother's who secretly don't want to stay home and back cookies but instead want to become table top dancers in Vegas and make 100 dollars per hour..... plus tips. That's why when life gives you lemons.. come find me and I'll help you make sweet sweet lemonade!
The case below is the one that sky rocketed me to fame... and even landed me on the cover of "Guru Weekly". I was the It thing back then.. the hot young prodigy of Harry Romance-tine. Harry was my hero.. the only relationship guru able to solve any relationship crisis in 12.3 seconds... give or take a millisecond. I never imagine that he would be the one coming to me for help.
Harry had a dog... and his dog was the second life of his life. The first .. was his wife or at least thats what he wanted people to believe. Having been so close to Harry... I know that his wife was second and his dog first. One day I received the following e-mail from him.
Dear ChuChu,
"Chulia... the Relationship Guru" is sorry to announce that due to Guru/client confidentiality laws the rest of the file is for official Guru eyes only.
