Date: Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Time: 9:07 PM

A friend of mine had to go through some heart break today as well do eventually. Imagine his (and my) surprise when I started to talk about the 4 Noble Truths. -.- I usually don't mention Buddhist concepts/views to my friends.. especially not American friends. Why? Because I think everyone is entitled to their own religious views -.- and its not nice to impose ... but the 4 Noble Truths seemed to fit so perfectly with what was bothering him. I guess you could call it a epiphany for me.

It set me thinking about my views on life as they are today. What am I?? Am I really Buddhist? Or a fusion of different things. I was born Christian technically speaking -.- and I'm baptized but.. I've never felt close to that religion. Well -.- I did pray sometimes when I was feeling at my lowest but that was when I was 8 or 9, but for selfish things. Since my family wasn't religious I grew up not hearing anything good... or bad about any religion. We had Bibles.. but we also had books on Buddhism and other eastern religions.

When we loved to the States when I was 7 turning 8 ... I didn't speak any English. -.- Even when I started school... I didn't speak any. But I remember the first few girls who became my friends. I was happy. : D Anyways one of the girls came from a rather religious family -.- a rather Christian family and it was through her that I became involved with this one Church. -.- I went for 2 of their camps.

But.. the religion itself never really interested me -.- why?? Because they told me I was a "sheep". @.@ A SHEEP!? "We are all sheep in God's flock" That's what they said... My thoughts were " ...but sheep o_o are sorta mindless... and just followed blindly. I don't WANT to be a sheep!" -.- Basically a simple reference to sheep was all it took to turn me off being a Christian.

Well.. technically I was still a "Christian" but I wasn't a practicing one.. and I didn't believe really in God. -.- I only believe in him when I wanted something to happen @.@ Like this...


-.- Oh yes.. I was very mature back then. Anyway I wasn't really an Atheist.. but I didn't believe there was "one God" and that every religion besides Christianity was wrong. -.- I was more "It's all just names for the same universal energy!!" By then I'd stopped saying I was Christian (this was when I was around 14) and started saying I wasn't anything.

I remember onetime in science class we were learning about evolution when one of the Christian guys stood up angry saying we're all decedent from Adam and Eve. @.@ And I was like wtf... aaaand sorta -.- started debating with him. Of course I couldn't convince him -.-

O_O out of steam.. the Buddhist part of my adventures will have to wait till next time : D