Date: Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Time: 7:10 PM

First of : D CONGRATS TO ERIKA FOR GETTING A BLOG!! you go girl!! Ok moving on ... while in the kitchen earlier I thought of something deep.. and meaningful and I came upstairs to blog and share it with everyone. BUT =.= then I forgot it. D : I'm sure it'll come back to me soon.... aka eventually. OH! I remember! It was about the passing of time .......... uumm nooo not the Buddhist musical thing =.= I literally mean the passing of time.. how time passes.

This year I'm going to be 18 and be in my last year of school before Uni. Oscar.. is going to be 8. I know that sounds well.. sorta =.= boring... but I truly realized what that means only a second ago. You see .. I remember how it felt to be 8 ... or 7 .. or even 6. I have a lot of memories from back then. Good ones bad ones... and the funny thing is that it all feels like it happened yesterday but also like it never happened at all. Make sense? =.= It's ok to say "Umm.. noooo I think your going crazy Chu!"

When I was 8 we moved away from Finland and to the states. I left my friends, my culture, my extended family ... everyone in my family did, and we traded them for a new life in America. =.= Er nooo we never wanted to live the "American Dream". Believe me -.- the "American Dream" is a marketing device used to lure innocent foreigners to America. Nah went to the States because my parents (well I was 8 =.= anywhere with friends was a good place to live in my mind) weren't feeling the Finnish Dream back in Finland. Any who I'm side tracking.

I remember the new house. D : Man did it feel big compared to our old one! I had my own room! Iida had her own room! Jan had his own room! .... Oscar wouldn't be born for 2 more years so.. no need for him to have a room. The whole house was covered in carpet =.= And I remember thinking "There's probably a LOT of bugs living under this thing...." as Me Jan and Iida laid down on it and listened to the Madonna cd my mom had bough.. You know the Rays of Light One -.- It was playing on our new stereo. Well we ripped the carpet out and added new floors... re-did the bedrooms... and put a safety net around the pool so that Jan Me or Iida didn't wonder out there at night and drown and TADA! Our new home was born!

Later we made other changes to the house like redoing the landscaping and adding an extra room to be my dad's office... but I sorta remember the original house best for some reason ... so strange =.= With its screens and sliding doors (which are glass D : and very hard to spot until you've walked right into them .. believe me.. i know ) and lizards D : and spiders D : and OUTDOOR POOL!! No more cold winters! No more pussy willows or birch trees! And no more Finnish! D :

My 8 old self was well ... experiencing quite the culture shock. -.- Suddenly we had a car.. actually 2 cars! We had a tv with lots of channels! We had disneyland! We had suburban neighbor hoods! Flat land! Heat! People whom I couldn't understand! Well... the list is endless. -.- The thing is .. at that point I felt so... well OLD! I felt so mature but now I look at Oscar and I think " He's a baby... just a little boy. Was I really that young once?" Time passes so fast ... 10 years ago I was as young as Oscar is now ... feeling like the most mature 8 year old in the world =.= World Traveler! English Master-er! Own room owner! Ahh the days of youth... I was so terribly optimistic about my new life ...

Now to the whole point!! At 18 I'm still the same in many ways.. sure I AM more mature -.- but I forget I don't know anything. Sure I have a life .. but I haven't truly lived. And my life is changing again. Another 10 years from now when I'm 28 I'll probobly look back with my mouth open and think "Oh ... my... B .... did I really think I was practically an adult? I was just a child!!" But ... just like I'm sure my 8 year old self would have been super upset had you told her she was nothing but a little baby -.- my 18 year old self is sure to tell you "HA! I'm at lest LEAGALLY an adult : D " or something like that. LOL

Time has changed me ... hopefully for the better. I'm no longer called "Baxter" ( umm you guys remember the meow mix commercial? With the cat that calls is owner an starts singing the meow mix song using well... meowing... complaining that he wants the food and he wants it now.... yeah I used to be like that -.- ) I'm no longer as shy as I once was, while I still care what people think about me ... I know it the long run it doesn't matter, I understand who I am so much better then I used too but its only the beginning of more discoveries I have to make. Life will slowly help me solve the biggest mystery there is for any person to solve.. themselves.

I've lived for 18 years ... but life is only just now getting ready to start. Just like my 8 year old self conquered the unknown 10 years ago ... as my 18 year old self I plan to conquer this latest unknown ... my new adult life. I plan to step forwa rd with optimism bright in my heart and fully accept what ever good or bad comes my way. Ok I'm done emoing! Ciao!